Forgiveness

In the spirit of forgiveness and healing, I thought of my x-husband today. When I knew our marriage was over and I asked him for a divorce, I just wanted him to leave. I just wanted him to get out. I didn’t want the equity in his three homes, I didn’t want alimony, I didn’t want any of his shit, I just wanted him and his bad attitude to go away.
 
He then sued me for $80,000. I was SO not expecting that. My family and friends were blown away. In the end he got nothing, not a dime. The judge said NO WAY. A year and a half of wasted energy and emotions, because he couldn’t let it go.
 
A couple of years later, I ran into him. I walked up to him, gave him a big ol’ bear hug, and congratulated him on his new marriage. We exchanged pleasantries, and then, out of the blue, he said he was sorry that he was so bitter, all that time ago. I said no worries.
 
Now when I see him I always smile, and I feel so much better. I don’t want to carry all that ugliness with me. I let it go.

Friendship

I was recently dismissed by one of my best friends for spending time with a man that she disapproves of. She told me that if I am going to date a man that she hates (based on a financial dispute that happened 14 years ago), she no longer wants me in her life. I am actually not dating him, but I did spend 2 hours with him.
I love her very much and feel a bit heart-broken. However, I do not feel that I should be forced to choose. Give me an ultimatum and I will run the other direction … and really damn fast .
This is my life, and I will form my own opinions of people based on my own personal experience. I am well aware that I may be right and I may be wrong. Perhaps this guy will turn out to be less than I perceive. However, I will NOT be told who I can and cannot spend my time with. I will not be bullied, controlled or manipulated.
I have really really tried to wrap my head around this. But I am feeling myself ever so quietly letting go.
If you want to throw our beautiful friendship in the trash so effortlessly and without remorse, I don’t think you are truly my friend.